"Life is a game, kid! It all depends on how you play!"
"Hey, maybe we'll see you on PBS!"
"Ah, worthless Koopa junk!"
"Thank you so much for to playing my game!" (After the player beats Super Mario 64 )
"So long-ee, Bowser!" (when Mario throws Bowser in Super Mario 64 )
"Tea hea... I mean, tee hee!"
"Hey! Where'd you learn how to ride a bike!?"
"Sorry we can't stay and chat with you goons, but we have a race to win!"
"Hey, King Koopa! You can at least say goodbye!"
"Get back here, Koopa! Don't you know vegetables are good for you?"
"Catfish pizza? This may be a first, but I'm not hungry!"
"Wake up, Luigi! The only time plumbers sleep on the job is when we're working by the hour."
"C'mon Luigi, let's see what this Guernsey can earnsie!"
"Everybody's got tap water!"
"Now go home and eat some vegetables, Dr. Mario's orders!"
"Oops. I meant to do that."
"C'mon, I'll help you sink your teeth into some delicious Koopameat."
"Can't we discuss this man-to-Mouser? ...I guess not."
"C'mon fellas! Fighting won't solve anything! The color you are doesn't matter!"
"Nice try, Koopa, but it's gonna take a lot more than a silly party hat to make me... Koop-masters, your wish is my command."
"Kooky, give ol' Koopa a Koop where it really counts!"
"Whoops! I just invented the tossed salad!"
"I wish Luigi were here, I could blame him!"
"Uh, excuse my brother, he gets nervous around guys six times bigger than him!"
"We can fix anything if there's spaghetti involved!"
"Hey, shaddupa your face!"
"Eat cake, shell scum!"
"Oh, no! The Princess is being forced to listen to a debate by two Fryguys about the names for the little things on the end of your shoelaces!"
"Stay away, you guys. I overslept, and I have to save the Princess!"
"Dr. Mario says that 'Captain N & Super Mario Bros. World' will return!"
"When the going gets tough, the tough read Dirk Drain-Head!"
"No woman can resist the charm of a Mario."
"Don't worry, Princess, we'll find little Oogtar soon - it's almost past his bedtime!"
"Get your grimy meat hooks off of my mag, Luigi!"
"You better get a lawyer or get us out of this chicken coop!"
"What my brother is trying to say, is he doesn't know what to say."
"Mamma mia! The cruel meatball of war has a-rolled onto our laps, and a-ruined our white pants of peace."
"No more clowning around, Koopa! You're Kooped up!"
"[Bowser is] having a coffin spell!"
"A Mario Brother never says 'can't', Luigi!"
"Why do salesmen always have such bouncy personalities?"
"I never saw so many tonsils in all my life!"
"But I've got drains to drain! Clogs to unclog! Remember... the noble always comes through? Besides, this coat is turning my hair brown!"
"Sticky juice! The stickier the sauce, the better I like it!"
"Brave men die a single death; cowards marry fish-head mermaids!"
"That's-a one spicy meatball!"
"I'm-a making history!"
"I wanna be a great plumber like my brother Mario."
"He's too busy eatin', Mario. He's your kind of horse."
(to Mario and Wario) "You guys are so juvenile!"
"Okay, Mario. One all ya got, coming up!"
"Poor dinosaur, he doesn't know the indigestion he's in for!"
"I think I liked it better when we outnumbered them!"
"Hey Mario, look! I grew an inch!"
"What? Stay home and take care of the house? Man, that's not exciting at all!"
"Mr. Koopa Koot wants my autograph? Me? I guess I'm a little bit of a celebrity after all."
"Look at all that loot! Diamonds, gold, rubies! It must be worth over 100 bucks!"
(about Aladdin's lamp) "So what's all the magic mumbo-jumbo about? What are you gonna do? Pull a rabbit out of it!"
"There, that oughta hold those fish-brained foes. Now to rescue Mario!"
"Hey! That's my brother Mario, you three-faced double-crosser!"
"Yeesh, what a mess! Am I glad I don't live here."
"No! Shut up!"
"Hey, thirty-love, Princess! That Fire Plant serving machine sure was a good idea!"
"Give up, Mario, she's whooping you bad!"
"Yeesh, forget it, Mario, it's outside!"
"So much dust. This will never pass the white glove test."
"That's a mirage, your royal nincompoopship!"
"Actually, I had planned on spending the afternoon flossing my teeth."
"I hope the guy downstairs knows where we're goin'."
"YIKES! Now we're ALL gun-duelers!"
"Bring them on! I'm ready for them this time! What am I saying?"
"Way to go, Mario! You sure cooked his casserole!"
"I could have been an actor! I could'a been a contender! I could'a been somebody!"
"Crama's here in Koopalot? I mean, uh, Koopa's here in Cramalot? Sheesh, let's split this place."
"Mario, think of all the fun we had as kids! All the drains we unclogged! Rememberdatimeyalstyafaveritscrewdrivernigaveyaonevmin?"
"That's Mama Luigi to you, Mario!"
"Well, like they say in Brooklyn, early to bed, early to catch the worm. Or is it the bagel?"
"I'm a Luigi, number one!"
"It's the liftoff that got me. Uh-oh! Where's Yoshi?
"Thank you, but our princess is in another castle... Just kidding."
"Leaping lugnuts, Toadman! Look at the size of those pipes!"
"Why didn't Koopa invent vitamins first and fast food second?"
"You traded our chest full of coins for this? Shame on you!"
"I'm sending you where the pecking's good. You can be free-range Chickadactyls from now on."
"There! That's the last of those grimy green good-for-nothings!"
"I remember the Minister that there was a secret passage out of this room."
"I just hope Mario isn't going into any sewers - he's wearing my good dress!"
"Koopa finally gave everyone a show worth watching!"
"'Yeeeeks'!? What kind of word is that?"
"What? This is dreadful news! Awful! Horrible!... Isn't it?"
"Now that's one for the scrapbook!"
"Look! A Samus doll! It's so cute!"
"Oh, Mario! You came to the party to see me! You're so sweet! Thank you!"
"It's worth wearing an outfit that stupid to see Mario this happy."
"Yoshi my name, crusing my game!"
"OK, I ready to order. Four coconut shakes, six order papaya fries, and eight Egg Scoopa Koopas!"
"Yoshi hear Oogtar too good! Huh, who need telephone?"
"Thank you Mario. But our princess is in another castle!"
"I carried all I could! Now what do you need?"
"Who did you expect? Pee Wee Herman?"
"Relax, Sal, you know what dey say: 'Old plumbers never fry'!"
"A Goomba's bark is worse than its bite."
"I hate morning people."
"Never trust a Koopa unless ya check up on him!"
"You know, some people use something called a DOOR."
"I dreamed that Mario was dreaming that he couldn't get past World One. Boy, was he clumsy! It was funny. I mean, as soon as Mario tried to do anything, he got bonked and found himself back in bed! What a maroon! One time he jumped right off the waterfall! The Shy Guys were having snacks and coffee while boinking him! But he was dreaming--I mean I was dreaming he was dreaming, and... hello? Hello? Well, that's the last time I wake up out of a sound sleep for royalty!"
"Da things I do for Princess Toadstool!"
"[Shooting Star Summit is] definitely the best place for a date. Trust me. Maybe you oughta, you know, ask the Princess to go there..."
"Watch out for Koopa's nasty nets!"
"'Cause I left my bazooka at home! Geez!"
"The courage beyond compare, the bravery beyond description, I praise this great hero, the superior fiend... me."
"If I didn't deserve this, I wouldn't give it to me."
"No one asks for a trap faster than a plumber!"
"OK, that does it! You're all gonna be Koopatized!"
"There'll be other crooked races, and other ways to cheat!"
"Don't question my orders, you rotten rodent! Just do it!"
"Stop wisecracking, mushroom, or I'll turn you into soap!"
"I pledge allegiance to Kootie Pie and the repulsiveness for which she stands..."
"With the power of the Star Rod, I can finally have everything I've always wanted!"
"Fool! Those pinhead plumbers are bound to try to rescue Princess Toadstool, and I intend to capture them before they do."
"Get off my throne, you ugly upstick!"
"The bridge is down, but we'll find a way to get back in. Move out, on the double!"
"Well, hello there! Give your uncle a big kiss! Ow! Why you-- uh, you sweet little thing you! Yuck! I hate mushroom brats!"
"Ta ta, turtle dove, until next week. Here's a smooch for your sweet cheek!"
"I should never have quit my day job!"
"Will someone get me a drink without little paper umbrellas??!"
"Are my dinosaurs in for a treat! Kinda high in cholesterol, but I'm sure they can handle it!"
"I guess I'm not a good guy."
"[Mario] always defeats me... This time I became invincible and I STILL couldn't beat him!"
"My beautiful fortress! And I was going to conquer the world on Tuesday!"
"Remember, 'Oogtar' spelled backwards is 'rat goo'!"
"I had so much fun as your crooked judge I decided to become your cruel warden!"
"Ohh, I hate it when my tootsie-wootsies get wet!"
"I wonder if I can put Lemmy up for adoption?"
"Eight Egg Scoopa Koopas coming up! Cook 'em good! No one likes runny eggs, dinobrain!"
"Hey, don't forget the special Scoopa Sauce. A little scoop'll do ya, haha!"
"How can I plunder your kingdom if I don't get my beauty rest!?"
"Top this, turkey-mouth!"
"My ol' pop used to say in situations like this - 'Son, when you put your mind to it, there's no problem big enough to run away from'!"
"Hey, what are you staring at? Haven't you ever seen a reptile ready to conquer the world?"
"King Bowser Koopa is nobody's fair game!"
"So now Toadstool and I are allies! I'll never live this down!"
"It's not neat stuff, you nincomkoop! It's the same trash we had before! Now get rid of it! And this time, see that it doesn't come back!"
"Quiet, Koopalings! I'm the king here! I'll decide what land we're gonna take over!"
"It's a dirty job, but somebody gets to do it!"
"Kooky, what are you doing? I'm your dear old King Dad!"
"I'll get you for this, Mario!"
"Knock it off, knuckleheads! I'm not doing exercises; I'm having a temper tantrum!"
"Clams, coins, old socks, we're given' em away!"
"You will grow up to be sneaky, two-faced, cheating illiterates, just like your dad!"
"If I want something, I'll just take it!"
"I wouldn't do that, plunger-face, not if you want to see your precious princess again!"
(The Doomship overheats.) "I just got this clunker back from the repair shop!"
"Plug your ears and watch your rears!"
"Now you'll see why I modestly call myself a genius."
"That's a cruel, rotten, disgusting idea - and I love it!"
"Hey! Who's been foolin' with my wands?"
"I'd love to save you, kids, but I just remembered I have a tail-styling appointment in another warp zone!"
"Costumed plumbers at your service, ma'am! We make plumbing a party!"
"Like the moon over the day, my genius and brawn are lost on these fools."
"Keep your crown on! You want people to think I'm marrying a nag?"
"Listen up, you reptile retches! It's time to play 'Auction the Princess'!"
"Fire a warning shot! ...On second thought, blow the plumber-boys and the Princess right off the boat!"
"Well, two can play at that game! And I know how to cheat."
"These fireballs are fantastic! Think of the destruction; think of the wreckage; think of how much this'll lower my heating bill!"
"These are not disguises! I am Bowser Koopa! King Koopa to you!"
"Boy, have I got Mighty Plumber conned! I wonder what I'll buy with all those gold coins? An ocean liner? A Koopa DeVille?"
"And your princess pedestal will be Koopa kindling!" ~Wendy
"Not here, Kootie Pie! Use your head for something besides make-up! Those faucet-fixers might see it! They got eyes everywhere! They got ears too, so keep it quiet! We don't want THEM at our circus, we just want cave-people like Papa Koopa said. Then the more, the better, and furthermore--" ~Morton
"Come one, come all, to the greatest circus of them all: the Koopaling Bros. Circus, greatest show in Dinosaur Land! Because of me, Big Mouth, the greatest ringleader of them all, master tamer of dangerous dinosaurs, mastermind of the amazing Mech-Koopas, lord of all he surveys, proveyor of--" ~Morton
"Large-brained clutzes! I am not part of your stupid act! I am the ringmaster, the greatest ringmaster of them all at the greatest circus of them all! I am your fearless leader! Your master of pump and ceremony! I am to be treated with...respect!" ~Morton
"But Mario, you hate pasta!" ~Ludwig
"On to the next act, folks! There'll be lots of audience participation! Fun for all and all for fun! The time of your life, the last time of your life!" ~Morton
"Have a good time! Have a nice day! Sayonara! So long! Ciao! See you later, alligator! Ciao! Bon voyage! Hasta la vista! Be sure to write!" ~Morton
"I've turned all the wild animals into stuffed animals!" ~Ludwig
"I've made an Abominable Snowkoopa!" ~Morton
"I've turned all these stupid, ugly, useless old paintings and statues into something really beautiful: pictures of me! There's the 'Mona Kootie', 'The Birth of Kootie', and 'Kootie Descending a Staircase'!" ~Wendy
"I've taken over all the TV stations, and I'm holding a Koopathon. I'm not going off the air until everybody sends me all their money!" ~Lemmy
"I'm turning the Amazon Forest into a parking lot. Now all I need is a zillion cars to fill it!" ~Iggy
Morton + Iggy + Lemmy + Larry + Wendy: "Give it up, mother dearest!"
"Welcome to All-Star Prehistoric Wrestling , a splendid gladiatorial spectacle, a fabulous fight to the finish! In this corner in the pink and purple trunks with the orange ruffles, weighing in at 90,000 pounds each, the totally terrible twosome, titanic, thunderous, thumping, throttling, towering, thrusting, tripping top heavy, top notch, top fight, tip toe, tip top, top tip..." ~Morton
"Wait, I'm just about to finish! This big, BIG finish! In this corner, the Tyrannosaurus Twins, a totally terrific twosome, a terrifying..." ~Morton
"Thank you, thank you. And in this corner, from the bucolic world of Brooklyn in that rollicking real world, these two loud, bungling, faucet fixing freaks, those forever foolish, fur-brained fish heads... Fish heads? A foolish, flabby, bug-eating... YARG!" ~Morton
Iggy: Time to heat up... Lemmy: ...this wimpy game!
"You're just Princess Toadstool of the measly Mushroom Kingdom. I am going to be Empress of America!" ~Wendy
"This is a fun little game called 'Stuff Your Furniture Down the Drain'!" ~Ludwig
"Oh, hi Princess. I'm really very sorry. But I have just decided to place you under house arrest." ~Wendy
"AHH! Not my favorite string! It's invaluable! Oh, there's a story behind this string, on Great Grandfather Koopa..." ~Morton
"I am the emperor of eavesdropping!" ~Larry
"Get him down now!" ~Larry
" Ahh! I've been kissed by a plumber!~Wendy
"Oh, brother! King Dad's in trouble! That was a good speech!" ~Ludwig
"The only way you are going to get your crops back is by shopping at the Koopamart. So long, suckers!" ~Larry
Roy: King Dad is going to pay for this! Morton: Yeah! Dancing lessons are expensive!
"This Santa Claus only gives presents to good children! What kinda wimp is he?" ~Roy
"When I get my claws on Santa, I'll turn him into Christmas pudding!" ~Roy
"Oh no, I broke a nail. This is no job for someone as magnificently beautiful as I." ~Wendy
"YOU? BEAUTIFUL? I thought YOU were part of the garbage, Kootie Pie!" ~Roy
"Hey, King Dad's doing aerobic exercises to get in shape for more badness!" ~Morton
"Don't just help him, STAND THERE!" ~Larry
"Oops! He's got more '(growl)' than everrrrrr!" ~Larry
"Hey pop, what are we having a tantrum about?" ~Morton
"It's curtains for you creeps! You're history! You've had it! You're done for! It's all over! We win! Time's up! Your clock is cleaned! The sun has set! The cheese has moved! The Super Mario Bros. are no more!" ~Morton
"Hey! Kootie Pie! Stick 'em up! Put your hands in the air! I'm a thief!" ~Morton
"Hey, lady! Gimmie your purse! I'm a real bad robber Koopa! I'm also a baaaaaad dancer!" ~Morton
Morton: So it'll be first and ten, but it might as well be fourth and long! 'Cause it's now or never, it's do or die, and it's sudden death if that egg breaks open! Boy, that missed extra point sure looms BIG now! The excitement's building up in the-- Roy: Oh, shut up! We'll never get the game started!!
"All right, King Dad! You're back to your abnormal self!" ~Ludwig
"See? The rex is tranqilized!" ~Iggy
"I hate those plumbers!" ~Larry
"I serve.... a higher authority...." ~ Geno
"Gee, you're soaking wet, aren't you?" ~ Mallow
"Rock TV? Hey man, what dat?" ~ Oogtar
"Rats! I missed! Ooh, I hate it when I miss!" ~Thwomp
"Jagger, begin the training in our new Mario-style dojo... 1,000 jumps!" ~Jinx
"Watch that third step. It's a lulu." ~ Birdo
"Who do you think you are? Bruce Lee ?" ~Mallow
"Now you've made my hammer mad!"~Hammer Brother
"Strong you are, but stronger I am!" ~Bowyer
"You're as slow as a pumpkin! At this rate it'll take you 100 more years to catch me!" ~Croco
"Am I famous yet?" ~Punchinello
"Sorry, I'm not accepting visitors past my bedtime." ~Belome
"Is it me, or do I detect milk film on this glass?" ~ Wooster
"First stop, 99th floor! Lingerie, chocolate-covered insects, large bricks..." ~Wart
"I vant to be a vald class-baker." ~Chef Torte
"Curses! I missed! I need to work on my aim." ~The Witch of Pumpkin Zone
"If they can do it, so can I--I mean, you!" ~ Mouser
"If it don't bleed, it ain't lunch." ~Drippy's Restaurant
"Aha! You're Mario! I knew it. You can't go past here, Mr. Big Shot! It's a direct order from the Goomba King!" ~Red Goomba
"Putting on a little weight, aren't you, Mario?" ~Sledge Brother
"I'm here to cause trouble on behalf of Bowser. Now, I will give you five coins... Wait! That's not right! Well, anyway, don't tell anyone, okay?" ~Koopa Kid
"And more importantly - more than one bathroom in here!" ~Piranha Plant
"Hey, my tooth's loose! Where's the deductible on our Mutual of Koopa dental insurance plan?" ~Ninji
"I just fixed that gate!... Nobody say 'gate' to me..." ~Goompapa
"No, you can't call your lawyer or your mother!" ~ Koopa Troopa
"Hey you! How about lending me your clothes? No dice?! What a drag." ~King
"Because I forgot my bazooka at home! Sheesh... Give me a break, here." ~Mushroom Guard
"Since you're here, maybe you could clear something up for me. My bride-to-be is chanting, 'MARIOHELPMEMARIOHELPMEMARIOHELPME'. Is she showing her happiness?" ~Booster
"I hate you - openly and without regret!" ~ Lakitu
"You clowns! You DON'T break a door down when entering a room!" ~Booster
"Hi! I'm Luigi! I mean, Booigi!" ~Booigi
"Wanna play GameBoo Advance?" ~GameBoo Advance
"Time for the six o'clock Boos!" ~Booscaster
"What do idiots drink? So-duhhhh! What do sodas call their dads? Pop! A hippie's favorite soda? Granola Cola!" ~Bubbles
"What do they feed you Mario brothers anyway? Gullible soup?" ~King Boo
"These were the most tasteful wedding invitations I could find. (licks one envelope) Mmm... whipped cream flavor... (licks another) Mmm... mango passion fruit... (licks another) Mm-- Eeyuck! Spinach! How did that get in there!?" ~Queen Rotunda
Luigi: I hope this crazy plan of yours works. Mario: All my crazy plans work!
Man on radio: Alien species escaping from police detention! Luigi: Aliens! We gotta deal with aliens too!? Mario: Luigi, we're the aliens! Luigi: We are? WHOA COOL!
Bowser: ...and then I'll join OPEC! Peach: You!? You make Mario and Luigi look like brain surgeons! You're too ignorant to be an oil tycoon. Bowser: So? I'll take brute strength and a bad attitude over smarts and education any day, 'cause ignorance is bliss!
Bowser: Attention Koopa Klan! Your sweet sister Kootie Pie has finally found a birthday present that makes her happy. Morton: Give the brat a country and she finally stops nagging!
Pizza Delivery Man: Python Pizza here. May I help you? Bowser: King Koopa here. Pizza Delivery Man: Oh. Yes sir? Bowser: I'd like the Koopa Special. Pizza Delivery Man: Pterodactyl tail on that? Bowser: Yes. Dino, lizard, hold the mammal, no worms... and, uh, spicy.
Mouse: You were going to flood our chambers!? Why? Bowser: Well, um... then no one could travel underground anymore and, uh.... Mario: Let me guess. You were planning on starting a rickshaw service? Bowser: Taxi service.
Mario: Hey Luigi, can't you get any more speed out of this old tub? Luigi: Keep your mustache on, Mario. We'll be on time for the dinner.
Bowser: Guess who's coming to dinner, Tryclydius - the Marios! Tryclyde head 1: Mash 'em! Stump 'em! Crush 'em! Bowser: Don't let 'em see you, snake-breath. I want 'em to walk into my trap. Tryclyde head 2: Mash 'em! Stump 'em! Crush 'em! Bowser: Why do I have to give you an order three times before it sinks in!? Tryclyde head 1: I don't know, ask him. Tryclyde head 2: I don't know, ask him. Bowser: I can't let you ninnies ruin my plan to get the Marios out of the way. Tryclyde head 3: Mash 'em! Stump 'em! Crush 'em! Bowser: Get back here, you stupid serpent!
Luigi: See? We're here ahead of time. We got-a-half an hour till chow. Mario: Half an hour!? I could starve by then!
Brutius: Guard, take Princess Toadstool and this creature... Toad: Hey! Watch dat "creature" stuff! (Brutius growls at Toad and stomps the ground, causing Toad to flip.) Toad: Wo! On second thought, 'creature' does have a nice ring to it.
Brutius: You aren't goin' nowhere, fungus! Toad: Dat's what I said, I aren't goin' nowhere. Brutius: Fungus! Toad: Right. Fungus. Heh heh. Sorry, I forgot that part.
Mario: This is some place, hey Luigi? Luigi: It's some place, but I don't know what place. Brutius: This is the place where we capture you! Mario: Oh. See, Luigi? This is the place where they-- Mario + Luigi: Capture us!?
Horse: How about doing another trick and getting me some more oats? Mario: Sorry, but I'm out of oats! (The horse stops completely, making the Mario Bros. fly up high and into the ground.) Horse: No oats, no work! Sorry, fat boy!
Luigi: What's [Tryclyde] gonna do with that net, Mario? Mario: He's not going fishin', that's for sure Luigi!
Mario: I gotta tell you, Luigi - I'm workin' up one BIG appetite! Luigi: Doh, so is he!
Mario: Wait a macaroni minute! I got an idea! Dance, Luigi! Luigi: You lost your noodle? Mario: Dance! Dance!
Bowser: It can't be! They defeated my champion! Peach: And now you gotta let them go. Bowser: That's what you think! Brutius, release the lions! Peach: But you promised! Bowser: One of the nice things about being evil is, you get to lie a lot.
Mario: OK, you guys are supposed to be king of the beasts, right? Lion #1: You got it, you chubby little jungle lunchmeat! Mario: If you're really kings, you'd be having an emperor for dinner, instead of two measly plumbers. Lion #1: He's got a point, Hairy.
Lion #1: Now this is what I call a meal! Bowser: (screams) (The lions chase him out of the stadium.) (screams) You Marios haven't seen the last of King Koopa! Lion #1: Hey Koopa! Slow down! We're hungry!
Lion #1: Hey, Luigi! Y'wanna get to work? Break time's over! I'm so starved I could eat a horse... or a plumber. Luigi: One extra-big plate of spaghetti, coming right up!
Roy: I'm paintin' grafitti all over this wall, green daddy. Bowser: Lousy lizards, Bully! Any stupid airhead can slop grafitti around! Roy: But it's not just any wall, pop. It's the Great Wall of China!
Larry: I've turned every human being [in Australasia] into a kangaroo--except one. Bowser: And what'd you do with him? (Larry turns Crocodile Dundee into a shrimp.) Larry: We're throwing a shrimp on a barby!
Torte: Now vat? Apprentice: Chef Torte! The cake's MOVING! Torte: Talk no more of zees! Apprentice: No! Really, truly. Why would I lie? Torte: Because you are... IDIOT! Zee! It IS NOT moving! (The cake moves.) Torte + Apprentice: Huh? Torte: Zee cake's alive! RUN!! Apprentice: See? I was RIGHT!
Luigi: Ugh! Mario, turn that racket back down! Can't you see I'm trying to read? Mario: Well, I want to listen to music! This record's hot! Huh? Luigi: There. Now it's even hotter!
Bowser: There's only one king of Cramalot! And who is that? Koopa Troopa: Ahh, can ya give me a hint? Bowser: He's sitting right here on this throne! Koopa Troopa: Well gee, maybe ya better get off him.
Mario: What's green and scaly, and covered with meat sauce? Bowser: I don't know. What? Mario: A Koopa slammed into deep spaghetti! Bowser: Cut the corn and fight, faucet face!
Mario: Koopa, you're the meanest, ugliest lizard that ever slimed its way across Cramalot! Bowser: Flattery will get you nowhere.
Bowser: Know what I'm gonna do with you buttinskies? Mario: Say you're sorry and let us go?
Luigi: 200 years! What're we gonna do!? Mario: Don't worry, because I doubt we're gonna live 200 years, Luigi!
Luigi: Hey Mario! You sure you know what you're doing? Mario: Sure, I'm doing 60 miles an hour!
Mario: You okay, Luigi? Luigi: I'd feel better if we went back and got my stomach.
Mario: Now that's what I call a meal! Luigi: Well, that's what I call ten meals!
Toad: When I get my hands on that King Koopa, I'll fix his wagon! Luigi: Hey, what's the matter with King Koopa's wagon? Is it broken? Mouser: "No it's just fine, and it's waiting for you criminal varmints!" Mario+Luigi+Toad: "Mouser!" Mouser: "Sheriff Mouser to you, you despicable fellons!" Luigi: "Hey! I never fell on anybody!"
Mario: Looks like we win the bike race by default. Luigi: It's not my fault. Peach: Guys, you've been tricked! This race was one of Koopa's traps! Toad: Yeah, da bill collect after my mushroom hide was just a phony! Luigi: You mean I risked my neck for nothing!? Mario: You mean I wasted my tomato sauce!??!
Mario: What would you do without your big brother? Luigi: I'd like to give it a shot and find out. Mario: Ah, come on! Luigi: I was just about to ask [Daisy] that. Mario: You wasn't gonna ask her nothin', you was gonna let her go. Luigi: Now she'll think I'm a complete idiot. Mario: Come on, you're gonna see her tonight. You'll impress her with your manners. Luigi: Yeah? So why did you tell her I suck my thumb, huh?
Toad: This is the second-biggest hypodermic needle I've ever seen! Luigi: What was the biggest? Toad: My last flu shot.
Axem Black: I broke my shades! Axem Red: Serves ya right!
Axem Green: I have a headache! Axem Red: You are really out of shape!
Axem Pink: My make-up's running! Axem Red: Then switch brands!
Axem Yellow: I'm hungry! Axem Red: You should've thought of that before we left!
Mario: Speaking of Yoshi, where is he? He never misses lunch. Luigi: Neither do you, unless you're in trouble.
(Luigi and Yoshi become Chickadactyls and fly out with the treasure chest. Mario starts pounding on the door.) Peach: But how'd they do it? The door was locked the whole time. Mario: Like I said, they flew the coop! (points to the open window) Peach: Right, they grew wings and flew away. Give me a break, Mario.
Mario: That does it! We're shutting down Scoopa Koopa's before the damage is permanent! Bowser: You and who else, plumb dumb? My customers and employees may not agree with you! One more day and it'll be too late. Your friends'll go from the fried egg to the fryer! And the next stop is the frying pan. (to his gang) He wants to shut us down, friends! What are you gonna do about it? (His gang gives chase after Mario and Peach.) Mario: We need a plan, quick! Peach: Since we can't fly, I suggest we run!
Mario: Luigi, do you like pancakes? Luigi: Yeah, I love 'em. Why? Mario: Because if we don't think of something fast, that's what we're going to be squashed into!
Bowser: Wow, any more food, Wooster, and I'll go into hibernation! Wooster: Don't be silly, sir. Grease dip for the fries? What's a turnip fry without liquid lard sauce?
Mario: Y'know, sometimes the princess reminds me of my ex-girlfriend. Luigi: Sometimes King Koopa reminds me of your ex-girlfriend!
Luigi: Mario, have I ever told you that you drive me crazy? Mario: That's great! Dirk drives his brother crazy too!
Peach: Fellow Mushroom-ites, we are facing dark days ahead. King Toadstool : Oh no! Higher lighting bills!
(Toad accidentally sets off a Stupid Bomb, rendering everybody stupid.) Peach: Let's attack whatsisname! Luigi: I can take Koopa's army single-handedly! Mario: I'd use both hands if I were you. Toad: I think I did something wrong, but I don't remember what. Wooster: I'd insult you if I were smart enough. King Toadstool: What's going on? I don't feel any different!
Snifit: Remember, the bomb is perfectly safe as long as you don't drop it. Shy Guy: Uh-oh! Snifit: Is there a problem back there? Shy Guy: Ummmm... maybe! (The bomb explodes, making everyone really stupid.) Snifit: Boy, somebody's gonna get a good-natured razzing when I get smart again!
Bowser: (yelling at Toad's Shy Guy costume) Hey, where did you get this crummy robe? What cheap material! What shoddy workmanship! You're a disgrace to the Shy Guy uniform! Stand up while I'm yelling at you, you limp wimp. SPEAK UP, FOOL!! Toad: I bet Koopa was the inspiration for the Stupid Bomb.
Mario: Okay, we have to remember the World "2-1". Luigi: You remember the "2" and I'll remember the "1".
Peach: I'm starting to feel brighter. King Toadstool: Does that mean lower lighting bills?
Mario: Hey! We just gonna hang around here all day, or get back in the race? Luigi: I thought hangin' around all day was the better choice.
Luigi: Ah, there we go, the valves are tightened. Mario: Tightened? I thought we were loosening them!
Mario: Adding it all up, it's perfectly clear--Wart snatched the king again! I can't believe it! Luigi: Not only that, they were sold out of plumbing supplies!
Toad: Fellas, Koopa's fort is impregnable! Luigi: Yeah, and we can't get in there either!
Toad: This is terrible! Peach: Yes, Mario and Luigi really need our help. Toad: I meant da snoring - it's driving me bonkers!
Bowser: By the way, my Koopa Bros.... About the captured Star Spirit I've locked up in your fortress... Who's guarding him right now? Ninjakoopa Red: Uh... nobody, sir... You know we're here and so... Bowser: You idiots!! Use your heads! Get back to the fortress and guard that Star Spirit!
Mario: But we're supposed to rescue her ! Toad: Uh, I don't think this is the time for technicalities...
Peach: Me, join a harem? Oh, give me a break! Harems are from the stupid olden days. Sultan Pasbah: I like the stupid olden days!
Toad: What's so super about this "Super Sushi"? Peach: Whoever eats it doubles in size and strength. Mario: And besides that, it makes great spaghetti sauce!
Bowser: Yes, babycakes. You not only get to see Silly Thawilly... Wendy: Milli Vanilli! Bowser: ...but you get to keep Billy Danilli for your very own. Wendy + Larry: Milli Vanilli!
Rick: We're in big trouble, Mario! Mario: You mean because Tatanga's corps of engineers have rebuilt this place into the final level of the Birabuto Kingdom? Josh: No, he means Mom's gonna kill us when she finds out we rode the train here alone!
Mario: Errgh, Yoshi! Yoshi: But I get ball like you say! Mario: After the ball is out of play! Luigi: Ballboys don't eat the balls. They pick 'em up. Yoshi: What? Me no eat ball? You call this fun?
Mario: Yoshi! What did we just tell you!? Yoshi: Outside court means out of play. Is Yoshi's yes? Mario + Luigi + Peach: NO!
Mario: We got to stop [the cave-people]! They're going to their doom! Yoshi: "Doom"? Uh, what is "doom"? (They enter the castle, where a circus tent is set up.) Oho, this "doom" thing definitely more fun than tennis!
Bowser: A circus isn't a circus without a dinosaur-taming act! Mario: Uh, how about a chipmunk-taming act instead?
Luigi: Hmmm, what's Koopa up to? He never does anything like this without a reason! Mario: Relax! Enjoy the show! We'll find out soon enough!
Bowser: I'm leavin' your little band now. Hey, I only joined so I could get my castle back, and now it is! Geno: Bowser, you're completely missing the point! We have to destroy Smithy or there's no way we can assure he won't invade it again! Bowser: I see... Geno: Ooh, I'm good!
Toad: Now what do we do? Shy Guy: Punt. Wait--! Forget I said that!
Bowser: You stupid sniveling Snifits! Find a way to cross that chasm and find it now! (He kicks a pillar, which falls and forms a bridge.) Snifit: I got an idea. Let's use that rock thing for a bridge! Bowser: That was my idea, you snub-faced sim!
Bowser: And who's gonna stop me? Your plumber pals ran out on you, remember? Mario: Wrong again, lizard-breath! Luigi: I thought we were gonna sneak up on him, Mario. Mario: I forgot.
Bowser: You'll pay for this, you pesky plumber! Mario: Oh yeah, Koopa? I'm sending you a bill!
Peach: We made it! And Bowser is blown to bits! Mario: I can't believe they pulled it off without my direction.
Mario + Luigi: Koopa's conquered! The kingdom is safe at last! Peach: And we rescued Mario, to boot! Mario: (sweatdrop) Thanks to you, princess.
Snifit 1: Boss, shouldn't we be concentrating on the girl? Booster: Right! Now, about the girl in my life, who thinks I should marry her? Well? Speak up! Snifit 2: A wedding ceremony would make a great PARTY! Booster: Ah, a party! We haven't had one of those. It could be fun! So...what is a party? Snifit 3: Well, you drink punch and eat CAKE!...I think. Booster: Hmmm...Drink punch...eat cake...? It sounds...complicated. I don't know if I can muster the strength to do it...Let's walk through it once! It's wedding rehearsal time! Snifit 1: We will now begin the ceremony. Walk down the aisle with the... (hey someone make her smile!) beautiful bride-to-be. Booster: Wait! Mario always shows up about now to ruin the fun. We've got to take that into consideration, you know. Someone go and get the Mario doll. Snifits: It isn't here. Booster: Of course it's here! You lazy slobs couldn't find water if you were fish!
Booster: Hey, No.1! Where's my cake?! Snifit 1: Booster, Sir! There's a 70% chance the object you're standing on is a cake. Booster: ....? THIS thing's a cake? Okay, everyone! Here's the stumper. How do we eat this? I SAY we boil it! No.2, what do you say? Snifit 2: Way too messy! Why don't you just swallow it? Booster: WHAT?! In one GULP? That's easier said than done! Snifit 3: Come, Booster! You can do it! Open wide, please! Booster: My nerves are shot. I feel like I've forgotten to tie my cord before a bungee jump.
Peach: Will your court photographers be there if I sign over the kingdom? Bowser: Of course! It's the photo opportunity of my life! Peach: Then I'll do it on two conditions: that you move us to the throne room, and that you change that tacky outfit.
Bowser: Get off my throne, you ugly upstick! Larry: Careful King Dad, I mean, ex-King Dad, I'm the new king of the Mushroom Kingdom, see? (Bowser sees the document and Larry takes Bowser's crown.) 'Course, since you gave me the idea to cheat you out of it, I'll make sure you get a cushy assignment. Say, cleaning the royal stables? Bowser: You nincom-koop! (takes back the crown) Larry: Hey! That's mine! Bowser: No, it's mine, you double-crossing dodo! Look!
Mario: Luigi, you'll have to swim across the moat and let down the drawbridge. Luigi: Me? But, but I can't! I'm, uh, gonna have a baby. (makes uncomfortable noises; Mario shoves him forward) Well, it was worth a try.
Bowser: Now my dear, it's time to initiate you into the Loyal Brotherhood of Tomato Sauce Vampires. Peach: Brotherhood? But I'm a girl!
Mario: How do you stop a vampire? Toad: A stake t'rough da heart! Mario: Chop sirloin? Filet mignon?
Luigi: (as Bowser) Nyah-nyah-nyah! Ya mutha wears a Shy Guy mask! Shy Guy: So does mine!
Twink: Oh! A photo of Mario! Peach: Don't look at that!
Mario: Take it easy, Luigi, things could be worse. Luigi: We're trapped in a dungeon about to be executed! How could things be any worse?! Mario: Well, for one thing, the ceiling could lower until it flattens us like a pizza! (The ceiling starts to do so.) Toad: Very uncool, dudes - the ceiling is lowering! Mario: Or it could fill up with water until we all drown like rats. (The dungeon begins to flood.) Peach: We've got to get out of here! Mario: Hey, I could think of another way things could be worse! Luigi: Mario, puh-leeze! Don't say another word!
Mouser: What's ze password? Mario: Password? Hmm... Mouser: It's "cheeseballs", you dopes! Mario: Oh yeah. Mario + Luigi + Peach + Toad: Cheeseballs! Mouser: That's better. Boy, some people are really stupid!
Bowser: I'll give you three urns of prime steak for [Peach]! That's my final offer! Sultan Pasbah: I won't take less than 54 urns of chopped chicken liver!
Toad: This is the end of the trail! Mario: Good thing. 'Cause this is the end of the trail mix!
Luigi: Well, it looks like your plan had couple leaks in it. Mario: Look on the bright side, Luigi. We get our overalls washed, free of charge! Toad: Just in time for our funerals!
Mouser: Zey're creaming us, El Koopitan! Let's retreat to your secret fortress, one mile north of ze taco stand! Mario: (writing it down) Secret Fortress; one mile north of the taco stand. Bowser: (bashes Mouser with his hat) Ninny! Hamster Head! Cheese Brain!
Mario: Hey, what are we playing, Australian rules? Roy: Yeah, I'm tryin' to put you down under! Six feet down under!
Hammer Bro 1: So, the other day I saw Lord Bowser gazing lovingly at a photo of Princess Peach. Hammer Bro 2: Uh, you may want to put a cork in it, man... Hammer Bro 1: Hoo! I tell you, the look on his face when he was mooning over that thing... Huh? YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK! L-Lord Bowser! Bowser: Well? I'm dying to hear the rest of your hilarious story, Mr. Comedian! Do share!
Hammer Bro 3: Lord Bowser! I have been training day and night to help you conquer the world! Should the time come, I shall be ready! Order me as you please, Your Surliness! Bowser: Uh...super. In that case, I order you to do some sit-ups, Tubby.
Peach: (as Luigi and Toad try to mix the love potion) Add one sprig of mistletoe... one ripe artichoke heart... and one Fat Boys record! (The brew blows up.) Luigi: Maybe it had to be a CD!
Peach: You promised not to harm my friends if I came willingly! Bowser: Would Blackbeard Koopa lie? (winks) Besides, you didn't come willingly!
Toad: It's a net! Luigi: Annette Funicello? Where?
Wendy: If you won't do a concert just for me, I will turn you into Beetles! Fab Morvan : Great, who wants to be a band from the 60s? Wendy: Better yet, I'll turn you into Ptooies! Rob Pilatus : Hmm, never heard of them! Do they have an album?
Wendy: King Dad! King Dad! My concert disappeared! If you don't bring it back, I'll scream! Bowser: So scream! It sounds better than that other noise! Wendy: If you don't go after them, I'll bring them back myself! Bowser: No, not that! Unless you promise to forget about them I'm gonna put you in the dungeon!
Bowser: When those aliens are in range, Koopa them with everything we've got! Ludwig: No way those aliens are gonna take over our kingdom! Right, King Dad? Bowser: Forget the kingdom! I just wanna save my own scaly skin!
Dr. Bloom: Fact is, most folks can be cured easily. But, I think things are about to change! That's because I've just discovered something very important... Mario: You mean that some doors pull open, not push?
Shyguy 1: Boy, they never just ask you to move! Shyguy 2: Even enemies can be polite if they want to be! But, no, not Toad, or Luigi, or...
Bowser: It is with heartfelt thanks that I accept this well-deserved honor! I'd like to thank all my many supporters for their votes! Mario: Knock it off, lizard-breath! Nobody voted for you--except you! About 10,000 times! Bowser: Are you accusing me of cheating?!! Mario: Yeah! How much did it cost you to print up those fake ballots!? Bowser: plenty! ...Ooops! I can't believe I did that!
Bowser: Beaten again! Why can't I ever catch a break? Ruuagh! I guess this brings my grand plan to an unfortunate end. Toad: What? What exactly was your grand plan? Bowser: I was going to use the power of the keys to... to... fix my tone deafness. How embarrassing.