The Loaded, Bloated, and Balooning Italian Plumber
The Loaded, Bloated, and Balooning Italian Plumber
It was a rainy day in the Mushroom Kingdom, especially at the home of the Super Mario brothers at their rundown plumbers' shack, and it was lunchtime when Mario went to the cupboard to find something to eat when he exclaimed, "Luigi, where's all the food?", he then added, "You didn't go grocery shopping, what have you been doin', fallin' asleep at the switch or what?" But Luigi, who came back from Daisy's place had this to say, "I've been doing some yoga with Daisy, plum forgot about grocery shopping at Guiseppe's, but I still think you and Peach should get in it together with us, it'll do your body good, and besides, you gotta shed a few pounds!" But Mario then bellowed, "Drop a few pounds doin' yoga, that's for sissies like you, and besides I'm fit as a tuba, so I'm heading out to get a real deal of a meal at The Pasta Palace up the road from here!" Luigi then told his chubby brother, "I hope you get a real deal of a meal, besides Guiseppe threw you out of there last time, because you tried to eat up his entire food supply, forcing all of his other customers to leave his eatery!" Mario popped right back to his slim, trim brother, "Nonsense, I was completely famished, besides, he owed me a freebie for being a loyal customer, so here I go out the door!" Luigi then warned Mario, "Don't come back crying to me when he tells you that you have reached your food intake limit!" An exasperated Mario then exclained, "Leave me alone, mamma mia!" and just like that, he dashed out to the brothers' beat-up old truck and he sped up the road to The Pasta Palace for some mighty fine cuisine and something he will never forget!
Once he pulled up to Guiseppe Morricone's Pasta Palace, Mario got his big ass out of the truck and walked over to the door oh, so ever slowly, but he found it to be locked, so he started banging on it and a yelling and screaming, "Come on, Guiseppe, let me in, or I'll knock down this door and barge my way in and make you feed me!!!" Guiseppe had no choice but to unlock the door and let the chubby plumber in, "All right, Mario, but I was in the middle of a sex act with my wife when you came, so you make-a-me come myself!' So the owner of the eatery unlocked and soon, Mario was his first paying customer of the day. "Feed me a great, big bowl of pasta with meatballs and mushrooms, I'm famished as hell, mamma mia!" Said Mario to Guiseppe, so that big meal was on its way to him within minutes after he placed his order. "How's this big bowl look to you, and I hope it's filling enough!" Morricone had told Mario, and as the hero of the sewers took a great, big bite and started chewing right away on his pasta dish, he said with culinary pleasure to Guiseppe, "This is quite tasty, so tasty I could eat many more before I'm through with you here in your Pasta Palace!" Guiseppe would then reply, "Well, I hope you're never through with me, because you'll be wanting more, mamma mia!" Said the Italian chef of his Pasta Palace. Bowl after bowl. Mario kept wolfing down the pasta with meatballs and mushrooms until his chubby frame had balooned to the point where he took up a lot of space in the restaurant!
Guiseppe took one horrifying look at how much bigger Mario has become by telling him, "You have-a -gotten a-way to big for my own restaurant, I suppose you want even more, but I'm running low on pasta!" But Mario wanted even more, "Please, one more plate, I'm a bottomless pit!" he exclaimed to Guiseppe, who then proceeded to cook up one more plate, and when Mario scarfed it down, he grew even more bigger then ever, literally destroying the Pasta Palace as he continued to grow even out of control until he became an obese giant hovering over the entire Mushroom Kingdom. Luigi, Peach, and Daisy arrived to see what has become of Mario. "Oh my gosh, what has happened to you, it was all that pasta Guiseppe fed you before you literally crushed him to death!" Luigi said in horror to his brother. Peach and Daisy were equally terrified of seeing Mario as a huge obese blob. "EEEEEEEEEEK, WHAT'S HAPPENED TO YOU MARIO???" The princesses shrieked in unison to the plumber! Bowser has arrived to wreak his usual havoc in the kingdom to find out to his own amusement as to how Mario had balooned
from eating all that pasta. "So you balooned to the point where you literally destroyed Guiseppe's Pasta Palace, you oughta be ashamed of yourself!" The koopa king admonished the giant, obese Mario, "But there's a way to bring you back down to size, and that's by jumping up and poking you with these sharp claws!" Luigi then tried to restrain Bowser, "YOU CAN'T DO THAT TO MY BROTHER, I WON'T LET YOU!", but Bowser knocked down Luigi, took a huge leap, and then, with a swipe of his sharp claws, took a rather slight poke at the frightened obese giant. Nothing happened at first, but the trio of Luigi, Daisy, and Peach looked on in sheer terror with these comments.
Luigi: "I hope he doesn't burst like a gigantic balloon, it's the last thing we want around here!"
Daisy and Peach: "Mario, Mario, please save us here in our Mushroom Kingdom by not bursting on us."
But already, there was a grumbling coming about from a profusely sweating Mario, already some flooding has occurred around him, and then finally, it happened, he burst, and the quartet of Bowser, Luigi, and the two princesses literally screamed out, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Screamed Mario as he woke up in a profuse sweat from his bad dream in a mid-day nap, as Luigi came to him as he asked him, "What's all the racket about with your screaming, was it a really bad dream or what!? Mario then replied, "You see, I was hungry, and famished as hell, because we didn't have any food in the house, so I headed down to Guiseppe's Pasta Palace for a great, big bowl of spaghetti and it made up grow huge into a big, ballooning figure and I literally exploded!!!" Luigi then said, "So that's how your 'daymare' went, now we're heading down to the Pasta Palace, where a great big bowl of spaghetti awaits us!" But Mario then told his brother, "You go ahead without me, I gotta go to see Peach about taking up nude yoga workouts with her and eat tons of fruits and veggies and even yogurt too!" A puzzled Luigi had this to tell Mario, "If that's the way you're gonna do it, me and Daisy will join 'ya for naked yoga and steamy hot sex in the sauna!" And the brothers did absolutely just that with theirprincesses, and they lived happily ever after!
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